Wednesday 12 October 2016

Infertility

Trying for a baby and a history that now included two losses didn’t come without regular appointments at the hospital.

We were under the care of Basingstoke Hospital. I can’t fault the incredible staff there. They have been so sensitive, supportive and the care we have received has been brilliant. We are extremely lucky to have a National Health Service.

After the second pregnancy loss we were fast tracked to see a Fertility Consultant. Under normal circumstances you would be required to wait until a year had passed without a conception before being referred but I understand that this can vary all over the UK and can vary depending on your age. We met with a fertility consultant and we would now undergo a series of hospital tests.

You’re still so young, people would say, you have ages to start a family, just enjoy life.
Was I too young? What did that have to do with anything? We were married, in love and wanted a baby. The age we decided to start a family would be our choice and was no business of anyone else.  
Your time will come and everything will be OK.
Will it? Can you guarantee that for me? I would think. If only I could just see a glimmer of my life in the future. If I just knew that one day I would get to hold our healthy baby in my arms it would make this journey so much easier. There would be a light at the end of the tunnel but the tunnel felt long, dark and lonely.  

I was booked in for a scan. This would check my womb, left fallopian tube and look for cysts on my ovaries. I would have a blood test on day 1-5 of my cycle, and then day 21. This was to look at my hormone levels and ovulation. It would be repeated for 3 cycles. I was also booked in for HSG (hysterosalpingogram). This is an x-ray test that would check my remaining tube was not blocked and that the shape and structure of everything looked normal. It involved a dye inserted into my vagina while under x-ray so that the flow could be seen. I spent all evening crying following that test... Why had ‘baby making’ become so medical, embarrassing, uncomfortable and scary.  

I was often told to relax, it would happen if I stopped worrying and thinking about it. This used to really frustrate me. How was I supposed to stop worrying and thinking about it when I was so regularly being seen by the hospital? I was adamant they would find something wrong, at least that would give me the answers I was looking for and a reason for having lost two babies. However everything was fine, all my test results were normal.

Andrew also underwent a sperm test. We lived too far from the hospital for him to be allowed to provide a sample at home so I attended his appointment with him. Nervously we sat in the corridor just down from the fertility department. I was a little giggly, I couldn’t help it. I think a tiny element of it was nerves but I am human and I did find it a little funny. For once the pressure of this test wasn’t on me.

A lady in a white lab coat walked out into the corridor ‘Mr Reed?, he stood. Pulling her latex glove on over her fingers with an exaggerated ping she turned to me ‘Would you like to go in with him?’, I shook my head, ‘Andrew, would you like some materials?’, he shook his head. CRINGE. My lips and cheeks went so tight I thought I was going to burst with laughter. She opened the door to a small room, in the room a chair sat centrally alone. She handed Andrew a sample bottle as he entered and he closed the door and did what he needed to do.

All tests complete we were booked back in with the Fertility Consultant. This appointment was scheduled for January 2015. Another New Year was here.

At our appointment the test results were discussed and I was prescribed a tablet called Clomid. I would take this tablet for 5 days at the start of my next cycle. This tablet would increase my chances of ovulation and therefore our chances of conceiving. Like most tablets it came with side effects and like most fertility treatment a risk of a multiple pregnancy. I would have blood tests through the cycle to monitor the effects.

We left the hospital and finally I felt a little bit of control. I had something I could take that was medically proven to increase the chances of conceiving, not just an old wives tale I had read about online. I would take the Clomid when my next cycle started in February.

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